We are a religion that believes in the power of Hair and its influence on strength of mind and strength of will. Read on to discover more about the Church of Hairism.
About the Church
We are a religion seperate from others. We are not Christians, nor Buddhists, nor Jedi. Our core belief is that Hair channels Life-Force, and that to restrict its growth or movement impedes our very mind. Hairists therefore do not cut or tie back our Hair, lest our spiritual well-being suffers. Other beliefs include wearing socks which best reflect our current mood, regardless of colour, and eating well. A true Hairist refutes all attempts to tidy or cut his or her Hair and exhibits great offence when it is described in a perjorative fashion. The most devoted Hairist may be driven to suicide if this happens.
The Hair and Life-Force
Our spiritual founder and leader, The Great And Hairy Davulus, currently leads the International Fellowship of Hairists. Davulus's Hair is the epitome of everything Hairism is and should be. Hairists around the world regularly pay hommage to our Leader Davulus in respect of both his Hair and wisdom. Time Magazine likened Davulus to a latter-day Jesus, if only for the length of his Hair. Davulus currently resides in England at an undisclosed location where he is pleasured by many women.
Become a Hairist
Hairism always seeks new members. To become a Hairist, simply grow your Hair to a length of more than 3 inches, and dispose of all combs and brushes in your house. You will be noted by another Hairist in the course of your daily routine and will be giving directions to the nearest Initiation Hall.
Myths about Hairism
There are many modern myths about Hairism, the majority of which are erraneous.