EXCLUSIVE: Leaked UKIP email from Nigel Farage

EXCLUSIVE - I have been forwarded this email sent from Nigel Farage to all UKIP local and EU election candidates. I have no way of verifying if it's genuine, however, being an online-only journalist I have absolutely no interest in doing so. The full text is below:

What a guy

Nigel Farage - a man who built a political party solely on the back of his ability to drink a pint of ale without looking like he'd just quaffed a quart of his own piss.

Dear colleagues,

UKIP has never been more popular. A recent poll has put our party ahead of Labour, the Tories and the Lib Dems, purely on the virtue that we aren't any of them. But if we want to be taken seriously, this will not be enough. Those of you who can read will have seen that UKIP has been taking a lot of flak in the press due to inappropriate remarks made by one or two or several hundred bad eggs. They need to stop before they ruin our electoral omelette.

We must be vigilant. The liberal media are conducting a vicious smear campaign against UKIP by taking things which our members have said and reproducing them verbatim. These underhanded tactics will fail if we take simple steps to ensure that our message is clear, whatever it is. This email should clarify the steps we need to take so the worst thing someone could say about us is, "I'm pretty sure UKIP are a bunch of racists, but I have no concrete proof".

Recently one of our candidates was bombarded by criticism for suggesting that ethnic entertainer Lenny Henry should "go and live in a black country." I think everyone can agree that if a man's contribution to our economy consists solely of feeble attempts to persuade people to sleep in cheap, uncomfortable, semen-soaked beds, it's time for that person to leave. The big mistake here is the vagueness of the "black country" remark. Left leaning Guardianistas protested that it's absurdly racist. Easily confused residents of the Black Country were rightly disquieted by the idea of a sudden influx of Lenny Henrys into Dudley. In short: this was unfortunate phrasing.

The trick here is to avoid ambiguity. Use the name of an actual country which is actually full of black people, like "Namibia" (in Africa) or "Jamaica" (in the African Sea). But even here you have to be careful. Don't make the mistake our colleague Godfrey Bloom made of citing the name of a country like "Bongo Bongo Land", which in spite of its legitimate sounding name does not actually exist. By nailing down the details we can avoid the accusations of baseless stereotyping which have dogged us for years. So, the official UKIP line on Lenny Henry is that we think he should go and live in Namibia, a country with a very high percentage of black people in it, because he is black. There's no ambiguity in that remark, and therefore no racism.

Now, Muslims. I am aware you may not like Muslims, coming over here with their odd hats and building mosques over your jobs or whatever you reckon they're up to. And by all means you are free to think that in private, although official UKIP policy is that thinking is strictly optional. But for God's sake, you can't say things like that in public - and yes, Twitter is public. If it helps, imagine that Twitter is your mouth, but on the internet instead of your face. If you absolutely must mention Muslims, please avoid citing any 'facts' about their faith because I sincerely doubt the ability of some of you to do basic research (to wit: Muslims do not worship Satan).

The biggest risk we run is saying something which Nick Griffin agrees with. This would be electoral poison. We need to disassociate ourselves from the ugly, election-losing lower class xenophobia represented by the BNP. Instead, we should embrace the more palatable, middle class sort of xenophobia which the Tories have successfully peddled for so many years. The British public have shown plenty of times that they're willing to vote for a right-wing party, but not one which sounds like it's reading a dodgy transcript of a Nuremberg rally with all the adjectives removed. We need to up our game.

There was a time when everyone thought of UKIP as a group of immigrant bashing yobs, gaping mouthed dullards, slogan spouting simpletons, closet racists, out-of-the-closet racists, fusty old men, frumpy old women, retrograde jingoists, cousin-fucking rubes and people who didn't understand the metric system. We have made so much progress in recent years, to the extent that some people no longer think this. And we just need to keep them convinced until the next election. So please, my dear friends and colleagues: please, I beg you, keep your stupid mouths shut.

Yours,

Nigel

Permalink || Posted 29/4/2014 by Pete

2 comments »«

  1. XTC - 30/4/2014 - 5:13am

    Making plans for Nigel.

  2. Cid - 9/12/2016 - 3:10pm

    We only want what's best for him.

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