Today I invented two incredibly great jokes. I own the copyright on these jokes. There's none of that GPL Wikipedia bullshit here. If anyone else tells one of my jokes, I'll sue their arse into the ground.

JOKE NUMBER ONE

Mr Salad Cream suspects his wife, Mrs Salad Cream, of cheating on him. One day he hires Mr Tomato Ketchup as a private investigator, who catches her hand in hand with the mayonnaise! The next day, Mr Salad Cream tells his wife he's divorcing her for cheating on him. She exclaims, "but how did you know?!" He retorts, "I have my sauces."

JOKE NUMBER TWO

Henry was a wheeless caravan, confined all his life to the same boring caravan park. One day someone came and fitted him with wheels. He rolled around happily. One day a new caravan came to the park, and saw Henry rolling around smiling and laughing. He asked, "hey man, what's up with you?" Henry replied: "I'm ex-static!"

Now I know it'll be tempting to copy these, but I implore you to resist tempation. There's nothing less funny than a plagiarised joke. Also I plan on selling these jokes to a humour conglomerate and becoming sensationally rich. So no pinchies.

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Posted: 8/12/2005 - 12:39am by Pete