A few days ago I dreamt that I went to a gay bar with my old psychology teacher. We both played it cool. 20/5/2012 - 1:57am
Follow @natflaps on Twitter to get the latest 140 character thought-farts directly from my brain. Follow @natflaps
I have written many blogs and rants over the years but never really provided closure for any of them. Like the great pyramids they stand still in time, a testament to my perennial frustration. Many I left with what can only be described as cliff-hanger endings. Others may now be rendered irrelevant by technological developments or the fact that I no longer care. Still, the time has come to come clean and confess my contradictions and relay developments to the faithful few who read my ramblings.
A year ago I ranted on the subject of my hair. My general sentiment was that I was never going to yield to peer pressure and get it cut, for to do so would be weak. Well, I've had it cut. Obviously if you thought I would NEVER get it cut you are an idiot. It was inevitable, but rest assured it was not submission to peer pressure, but rather cold-hard cash which was the motivation. My haircut allows me to return to my job and earn some money, so whatever you call me for doing it, you can't say I'm unprincipled.
Here is a photograph of my newly restyled locks and my lovely face in an almost angelic pose:

Not too drastic is it?
On PeterMat.me.uk I was always amused to see what people had been searching for to lead them to my site. It was usually porn. However, when I checked this month's results I saw my site was getting a lot of hits for people searching about Kenan and Kel. I found the idea that they would read my fake interview and take it seriously quite hilarious, but then I realised that it's pretty much accurate anyway so I was probably helping them out. At least I dispelled the myth for the moron who typed in "i thought kel mitchell was dead". Why would you type that into a search engine? Is this person trying to make small talk with Google? Who lets these people on the Internet?

Salvation! Both Alex and Tim suggested Tesco's Own boxers as a solution to the testicular shackles which were my tight pants. It was with some trepidation I bought them, owing to past disappointments, but I was pleasantly surprised and Tesco has come through for me. The pants are brilliant and come highly recommended. Thank you to Alex, Tim and Tesco!
There's no picture for this one.
© The Natflap 2005 - 2011.
Waklesby - 26/5/2006 - 1:10pm
You still look like a tramp.
But at least you don't have that homeless person's hat on in this picture. Did he give you any more personal care tips when you gave it back?
Noodle - 26/5/2006 - 1:55pm
You look like somebody off "Grumpy Old Men", Pete. Go orn, put a smile on your face you miserable owd get.
tim - 26/5/2006 - 6:43pm
i'm pleased the pants are performing, pete
Alex - 29/5/2006 - 9:46pm
I appreciate the gratitude, Pete. Good to see my research efforts have not gone un-noticed.
Add a comment